we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
