just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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