Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
