dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize