It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
