i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize