Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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