return my video game
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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