I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have aggressive nipples.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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