i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
