i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
