You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You're like the curious george of whores
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize