Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
