And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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