it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
