I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
