Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
