wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
