i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
