if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize