by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
