i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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