his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if only i could text you this smell
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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