Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
