There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I miss vodka workout Fridays
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
