Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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