New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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