if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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