We're facebook friends in real life
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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