I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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