dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
