i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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