ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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