Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
