talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
