I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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