I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
