last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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