never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
