I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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