I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
