oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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