you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
