that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
