If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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