I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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