i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
