i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My penis needs a shock collar
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
