Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So vagazzling was a success
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
