I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
