Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
