I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize