I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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