I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
