His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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