I hate all girls vehemently.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Damn victory sex feels great
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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