I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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