I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
