i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
