your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
