you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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