Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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