But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
