ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
