How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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