Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
