The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
