I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
